I’m expecting to be flamed for this.
The worst movie that I have seen in a LONG time (and unfortunately was bludgeoned with again last night) isn’t Catwoman. It isn’t Jaws 4, or Tremors 3. It isn’t Leprechaun in the Hood.
It’s Alien.
Yes, the original Alien by Ridley Scott in 1979. I don’t care if it’s a “classic”. I don’t care if Aliens (1986) was awesome. The first Alien is the biggest waste of 116 minutes ever. You have:
1) Horribly predictable plot
2) The worst acting of all time. “It’s a robot. Ash is a goddamn robot.”
3) Lack of any good looking actors. Yes, Sigourney Weaver gets down to her tighty whiteys in a cold escape shuttle thing – but she’s not much to look at.
4) 115 minutes of no action in a 116 minute action sci-fi film.
5) Lowest budget ever. Using raw chicken for alien eggs, and milk for the android = laughable at best.
6) The lack of SEEING the damn alien. The movie is named after a deadly creature that you see for a total of maybe 4 minutes in the entire movie.
I realize this was 1979. The best part about this whole thing, is that in 2002 the United States National Film Registry deemed Alien as being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.” The only thing significant about this movie was my desire to be doing absolutely anything at that time other than watching it. Thanks Chris for the awesome movie night at your house 
So, to start a meme – what’s the worst movie of all time that you have ever seen?
Tami Baribeau is the Associate Producer for Metaplace, Inc, currently working on Island Life. She is also the Lead Editor of feminist gaming blog The Border House, and the National Facebook Games Examiner for Examiner.com. She can be reached on Twitter or by email.
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Well i watch the original Psycho. And i got 1/2 way though the movie until i quit from boredom.
Wow! Talking about taking a film out of context. I’m not trying to change your mind – you didn’t like the film and that’s fine by me. I’d just like to point out that James Cameron made the second film (aliens) a sci-fi action. The first film was firmly in the horror suspense camp, anyone who told you different was lying. Not that that stops you from having found it boring
. Personally I found the new Miami Vice film to be an attrocious waste of time and couldnt finish watching it. And I usually like Michael Manns stuff
BTW I didn’t leave out the punctuation in my last comment deliberately – the edit field in Firefox doesn’t have a horizontal scroll bar when you go below the bottom so I couldn’t see what I was typing. May just be me but you may want to check it.
1) Of course its predictable… now, because most of the movies you’ve seen that cause this to be predictable stole their plots from this movie!
2) Lots of acting is bad in lots of movies, this is no where near the worst.
3) Its a mining and cargo transport vessel, good looking people don’t get those kinds of jobs.
4) Its not an action sci-fi film, its closer to a haunted house movie in space.
5) When it came out no one was really funding sci-fi, let alone horror/sci-fi.
6) Do you realize how little of the shark you see in Jaws? Ever seen the original Black Christmas? I think the big problem here is that you think Alien is a sci-fi film when its really a horror film.
Any movie produced by Uwe Boll is downright horrible, including the new Dungeon Siege based one.
Cuppy…back in 1979, your typical Sci-Fi movies were cheap Star Wars rip-offs. Thanks to H.R. Giger, “Alien” had a foreign, organic style which we haven’t seen before in a movie. It’s the lack of script and the focus on tension that made it a good horror movie back in 1979. Is it fair to compare it technically to movies made in the 2000’s…no.
I’ve seen alot of bad movies in my time, so I’ll only pick the most recent. “The Girl Next Door (2007)” was offensive, disturbing and a complete waste of time. It’s 91 minutes of my life that I wish I had back.
Yay, about time I get flamed. It’s been far too long… =)
Nah, Alien 4 is still the worst in the series, followed by Alien 3… But, I never really got into Alien either. Then again, I never really cared for horror movies in general. Of course, the movie is predictable because we’ve seen it redone… a lot. That movie has been ripped off again and again, more times than I care to think of. In a way, I think this is almost a great example to show exactly that.
Cupster Cupster….you’re showing your age
Saying Alien is a waste of time because it was “boring” is like saying “Raiders of the Lost Ark” sucked because it wasn’t “deep”. Totally incongruous statement. It’s sci-fi suspense/horror. It’s not an action movie, was never meant to BE an action movie. And comparing 1979 special effects to modern day is just unfair. “Dude, my AMD quad core kicks your 286’s ass!!!”…. not really a fair fight, now is it?
The worst blog post that I have seen in a LONG time (and unfortunately was bludgeoned with by the very similar Beowulf post a month or two ago) isn’t a post on Heartless’s blog, an editorial on MMORPG.com or a Jeff Freeman rant. It isn’t a late breaking review of Archlord, or Vanguard. It isn’t yet another top ten reasons you know you’ve played too much WoW.
It’s this blog post.
Yes, the original misinformed post was by Cuppy back November 19th of 2007. I don’t care if it’s a “classic”. I don’t care if the post about Beowulf is even more grossly misinformed. This new pop culture misstep is the biggest waste of 273 words ever. You have:
1) The ranting of someone who was born ten years after the movie released.
2) The unspoken comparisons to modern film.
3) The lack of perspective on 70’s fashion.
4) An attempt to start a blogging meme.
5) A overly dramtic title.
6) Complete and utter disregard for film history.
Doesn’t anyone realize this is early 2008? The best part about this whole thing, is that moments after it was posted I deemed this blog post as “devoid of culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant commentary” The only thing significant about this blog post was my desire to be doing absolutely anything at that time other than reading it. Thanks Cuppy for the awesome blog night at http://www.cuppycake.org/
Any movie with Colin Ferrel or whatever his name is. Those are the worst.
Your just not right in the head Cuppy. Alien is an awesome movie.
But its ok, I’ve been told that I have really bad taste in movies because I like Armageddon with Bruce Willis. I mean, whats not to like?
I don’t even know where to begin…
I’ll just note that these are opinions, and as such they can not be wrong – just different. I still think you need a good spanking though.
For me Alien is not a Sci-Fi flick, but a horror movie. A creepy, suggestive one. The lack of clear sightings of the alien is suggestive. I’d recommend everyone to watch the anniversary edition with the re-made visuals. Basically the movie is brightened so you CAN see a lot more (including the alien). And personally I found it a lot less interesting.
Hmmm Can you give examples of a GOOD Sci-Fi movie and GOOD horror movie, Cuppy? Just out of interest. Pretty please.
Oh… “So, to start a meme – what’s the worst movie of all time that you have ever seen?”
I’m not sure… I’ve been dragged (by the wife) to a string of Hugh Grant movies at the theatre. Quite e few of them I found extremely nauseating. Barb Wire also comes to mind, so does Escape from LA.
Yes!!!!!!!!!! KEEP IT COMING!!
I should post this shit more often.
@Akely
Hmmm Can you give examples of a GOOD Sci-Fi movie and GOOD horror movie, Cuppy? Just out of interest. Pretty please.
Sure. Sci-Fi was definitely Chronicles of Riddick or Leprechaun in Space.
Horror was Freddy vs. Jason. Or Jason Goes to Hell.
Those movies are the best EVER.
Ahh.. it becomes clear now. Cuppy is a connoisseur of cheese!
Yes… a connoisseur of cheese seems to be a very apt description.
Alien is a rather serious movie after all, it would surely clash with the rest of Cuppy’s palette.
Anyway. The Mario movie. That was bad. (Since I only actually said the worst of the alien movie’s, not necessarily my least favorite movie
)
this post cant be for real can it?
TELL ME IT AINT SO CUPPY
I think the worst movie I’ve ever seen is Prospero’s Books. I realize that most of you will have no idea what this movie is, but all you need to know is you’ll never think of nudity in a film the same ever again.
While I can accept someone disliking Alien, I cannot accept someone disliking Aliens. I am bringing that disc in for Luke today, and if either of you dislike it, I WILL club a baby seal, and then end all related friendships (related to you guys, not to the seal).
“Yes!!!!!!!!!! KEEP IT COMING!!
I should post this shit more often.”
Jesus…Cuppy has become a Shock Jock.
Hands down the worst movie I have seen was the recent remake of “The Wicker Man.” Bad acting, bad plot. I wish we had never spent the money to see that in the theater.
Good Horror movie:
2 Fast 2 Furious.
Let me tell you, I was horrified the entire way through.
XD
“I Know Who Killed Me” is WAY up there on my list.
@ Pezzy:
True abour TGND, but at least the female lead was gorgeous.
Oh god Ellery, you’re going to make us sit through Aliens?!
Cheerleader Ninjas. Only because what could have been so good was so bad.
“MEET THE FEEBLES”… but… it’s so bad it’s awesome. O.O It’s the muppet show meets some cracked out drug-infested psycho drama.
Yes, it is one of Peter Jackson’s little artsy films before Lord of the Rings.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0097858/
Aliens is also full of metaphors especially of birth/life/death which is a complete new layer on top of the actual film. It isn’t only eggs or milk or the shape of the aliens head, it goes through the entire design down to when the Alien was »born dead« into space hanging on an iron umbilical cord, leaving Ripley as its mother (a recurring theme).
Anyways, I do understand if the pace of the movie doesn’t work well in post MTVs 2-nanosecond-cutscenes. However, it goes a bit too far to condemn a whole movie as worst.ever. beyond aesthetical opinions.
I’m not sure if this post is genuine or a joke, because in your comments you revel in the “flames” (I have yet to actually see anyone flaming you here, BTW) you receive. If it’s genuine, then most of the other commenters have covered everything I’d want to say, particularly Brent. If it’s a joke — what’s the point?
It was only half a joke.
Mostly I wanted to link it to my friend who insisted it was a good movie and made my bf and I sit through it on Sunday night. We strongly disliked it and thought that it definitely “doesn’t hold up.”
Worst movie ever? nah, but it sure isn’t good nowadays.
Never watching movies with the two of you again! Youngins…no appreciation for the classics.
/old-deaf man “EH???”
I won’t say its the best Horror/sci fi movie on the block, but its better than most. But to even suggest that Freddy Vs Jason was better is crazy. Now, the first Hellraiser, thats a movie of horror.
The Thing is a great example of scifi and horror.
The Brown Bunny FTW. We saw this movie for free and demanded someone elses money back. That’s $24 that isn’t going to line Vincent Gallo’s pockets with coke.
Heh. I comment almost on a daily basis about something that happened or existed was before she was born. ::grin:: Cuppy, what’s you’d favorite movie this year? Let’s discuss it in 30 years. ::chuckle:: It’s all about perspective.
Add Cuppy to Heartless’ list of people who are wrong (at least on Alien).
Oh, and
Dr. Butcher M.D., Medical Deviate
FTW.
What?! Where’s Heartless when you need him, surely there needs to be a “this person is wrong” post about how the Aliens movie was totally taken out of context.
By the way Cuppy, I’m inspired and will have to move on from trashing crappy MMO clips, on to major studio movies.
Naw-you won't flamed. As they say you can't please everyone.
I saw Alien the night it premiered in San Francisco. I was 20 years old. At the time, you have to remember audiences were geared toward Star Wars and Spielberg's Close Encounters film. The old Northpoint theatre was packed. We didn't have mega-plexes at the time so there were literally 982 people in the theatre that night!
The sound was cranked up and we sat pretty close to the screen (probably about the 20th row). The film began played and the audience was clearly hyped up.
The look of the film was amazing! So different from the aforementioned films. The first gag that made the audience jump was of course the alien popping out of the egg and onto John Hurt's face. You'll have to imagine how the audience jumped, screamed and then laughed. Yeah, we all laughed until the chest-burster scene. A woman in the row ahead of us puked! Some people walked out. I myself was feeling a bit queasy. For a long time
Anyway, I guess my point is seeing the film in a packed theatre on a large screen and being influenced by the audience and having certain expectations made it scary or at the very least surprising.
The whole point of not showing off the alien was to scare the crap out the audience. What's scarier something gruesome and dismembered? Or something that you can't see and don't know when it will attack?
For a very longtime I hated this film. It made me queasy and recalling the theatre experience is probably what kept me away from it for a long time. Of course by now I've watched dozens of times and enjoy it.
Cheers:)
JC
Naw-you won't flamed. As they say you can't please everyone.
I saw Alien the night it premiered in San Francisco. I was 20 years old. At the time, you have to remember audiences were geared toward Star Wars and Spielberg's Close Encounters film. The old Northpoint theatre was packed. We didn't have mega-plexes at the time so there were literally 982 people in the theatre that night!
The sound was cranked up and we sat pretty close to the screen (probably about the 20th row). The film began played and the audience was clearly hyped up.
The look of the film was amazing! So different from the aforementioned films. The first gag that made the audience jump was of course the alien popping out of the egg and onto John Hurt's face. You'll have to imagine how the audience jumped, screamed and then laughed. Yeah, we all laughed until the chest-burster scene. A woman in the row ahead of us puked! Some people walked out. I myself was feeling a bit queasy. For a long time
Anyway, I guess my point is seeing the film in a packed theatre on a large screen and being influenced by the audience and having certain expectations made it scary or at the very least surprising.
The whole point of not showing off the alien was to scare the crap out the audience. What's scarier something gruesome and dismembered? Or something that you can't see and don't know when it will attack?
For a very longtime I hated this film. It made me queasy and recalling the theatre experience is probably what kept me away from it for a long time. Of course by now I've watched dozens of times and enjoy it.
Cheers:)
JC