Sydera from World of Matticus wrote a spectacular blog about the stereotypical roles of female gamers. My favorite part of it though starts near the end where she says “I’m not a feminist but…”
In one class session, we were discussing women’s roles in society, and I prefaced a comment with “I’m not a feminist, but. . . ” I’ll never forget what happened next. Dean Johansson stood up, assisted by her cane, and declared to the whole class that ANYONE who said such a thing was, in fact, a feminist, but was lying to herself to please men. I was extremely embarrassed at the time, but now I am grateful. That moment has stuck with me, and ever since, I’ve made exactly the same response to every woman I’ve ever heard repeat that hackneyed turn of phrase.
Now, I am not afraid to admit my faults. I have been quoted saying the very same thing here on this blog…”I’m not a feminist but…” It’s only now after becoming immersed in LGBT equality issues that I’ve realized how completely backwards (and near impossible) it is to argue for and believe in equality for one group of society but not the rest. This includes feminism/gender equality, and racism, and ableism, and any other kind of “ism” you can think of. I’m not afraid now to say that I’m a feminist – especially after people like my friend Mariah have broken it down for me. If you believe women should be paid as much as men, if you believe men and women should be equal – you’re a feminist. I am a product of a generation where “feminist” was referring to radical bra-burning manhating lesbians and was a term around my household that had a negative stigma. I’m glad that I’ve been educated on the real meaning. I’m only slightly embarrassed of some things I’ve said here in the past regarding equality – but I’ve been blogging here for years. I’ve grown and I’m happy for that.
Equality ought to be easier, not harder, to achieve in the game world, but the opposite is true. MMOs are a sort of frontier society, and like the Wild Wild West, they are unfriendly to the few women who venture beyond the borders of the civilized world. I find more gender discrimination in-game than out, and part of the blame can be laid at the door of pervasive stereotypes about female gamers.
If you read one thing I link all year – make it this article.
Tami Baribeau is the Associate Producer for Metaplace, Inc, currently working on Island Life. She is also the Lead Editor of feminist gaming blog The Border House, and the National Facebook Games Examiner for Examiner.com. She can be reached on Twitter or by email.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
While I’ve never said, “I’m not a feminist, but…” I have used a lot of bigoted speech in the past, and what’s important is learning and being open to having your assumptions and privilege challenged and questioned.
How can you tell people not to call someone by a stereotype yet use one to describe yourself?
Yes people are complex. This is why there are many words used to describe various human behavor/believes. Stereotypes lump some of these into groups to speed up the communication between people. The problem is when you say All women or men are a perticular stereotype.
The Feminist example is great. This is a stereotype that the author herself assosicated with until someone explained what the word “really” means. HOWEVER, the problem here is that most people upon hearing the term will not think of this meaning and will think the same as she once did. This will mean that she is not communicating the exact message to other as she thinks she is which only forces her to explain what she means when she calls herself a feminist.
If you dont like stereotypes the dont call yourself one while complaing about them… What a ____
I think you’re a little confused. “Feminist” is a word with actual meaning, not just a stereotype. It has a stereotype attached to it, but that is not the same as the meaning of the word. I am a woman. There are stereotypes attached to that, and if I say I’m a woman, there are people who will make stereotypical assumptions about me. Is this my fault for admitting that I’m a woman, or their fault for being ignorant?